Wednesday, September 5, 2012

New Book Out About Marriage

Check out a new book that came out today from Amazon:

You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married

Seems like it got some good reviews!


“A wonderful and important piece of thinking and reporting.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Committed: A Love Story and Eat, Pray, Love


"A book about divorce written by a man who's never been married should be ridiculous. And yet I gobbled up this odd and touching and delicious book. I read it in a single sitting. And what's more, I learned something new about love and marriage and passion and commitment."
— Ayelet Waldman, author of Red Hook Road and Love and Other Impossible Pursuits


"After reading Dana Adam Shapiro's fascinating and revealing book, I will never again take my marriage for granted. I would write more, but I have to go buy some scented candles and tidy up the kitchen."

— A.J. Jacobs, author of Drop Dead Healthy: One Man’s Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection

"As a couples therapist, I witness daily the unraveling of adult intimacies. Dana Adam Shapiro's gripping testimonies of demise and divorce are written with vividness and aplomb—I felt as if he were eavesdropping in my office. A grand reportage of marriage and its discontents."
— Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

Sunday, May 27, 2012

First Chapter of Bel Air Bodies

Get the rest of the book for $4.99 Flinging back her long blonde hair, Amy rushed towards the seaside restaurant where she was meeting her third blind date of the week. She was always running late and today was no exception. With a quick dab of shimmery lip gloss and a pinch to each cheek, Amy sailed into the swanky dining room to greet the latest would be suitor of the gorgeous personal trainer. After almost twenty minutes of listening, Amy was hoping her date would come up for air. No such luck. “So that’s me in a nutshell. I love my job, I enjoy sailing when I can, and I love being around beautiful women such as yourself (wink, wink). And I always pay, so you don’t have to worry about spending money when you’re with me. Didn’t you say you were feeling a little stretched thin?” Sean Billings, Amy’s no-longer a stranger companion asked her over a lavish lobster lunch. They were playing “get to know you” at a lovely seaside restaurant. The waves were crashing over the rocks outside the window, and the setting screamed romance under any other circumstances. Unfortunately, by now Amy was not feeling very enamored with her date. Sean had talked non-stop throughout their lunch, and had asked her approximately two questions about herself. Even then, he interrupted her answers to go back to talking about his life. He seemed to enjoy discussing himself more than anything, and she had a good idea of why he was still single. “Um, yeah, I might have mentioned that,” Amy said, taking a long sip of her ice water. She didn’t remember telling him anything about her financial situation, but she might have alluded to it during their initial meeting over the internet. She’d met Sean on a popular on-line dating service where he had been more than generous when it came to the back and forth conversation. Now that they were together in person however, it was a different story. “So, as I was telling you earlier, I work in finance. It’s really great when you can make so much money in so little time. I mean, I don’t even have to go to the office some days; I just shuffle over to my laptop at five a.m. and do some quick finagling on the computer and I’m all set for the day. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love getting in a day at the office, but who doesn’t enjoy time off right? So that’s what I do, but what is it that you do again?” he asked, appearing to be giving Amy an opportunity to answer a real question. It wasn’t to be. “Oh yes, you work at a gym, right? Wow, that must be so much fun. I work out all the time you know, you don’t get this kind of body without a lot of effort,” he said, flexing his arms and almost kissing his biceps to show her just how buff he was. “Yeah, I work out with a personal trainer in my office gym. He’s a real killer. I mean, he won’t take no for an answer. I work out with him around three times per week. It’s expensive, but I can afford it.” He took a sip of water and raised his eyebrows; letting Amy know that money was no object for him. Amy thought that maybe now she’d get in a word. Nope. “So you like to work out, I guess. That’s great. I love a woman who’s fit. You look like you work out, that’s for sure, you’ve got a great body,” he said, admiring Amy’s shape as he blatantly stared at her chest and mentally undressed her. Amy had had about enough of Sean and his motor mouth, and decided to call this date a dud. She wiped her mouth carefully with her linen napkin, placed it over her plate and stood up. Sean was in mid-sentence and was focused so much on his train of thought that he barely noticed Amy getting ready to leave. “Sean,” she said, interrupting his spiel on why the world of finance was such a great place for him, “I’m leaving. You obviously don’t need me here as you haven’t let me get a word in edgewise. Why don’t you finish up dessert and coffee with yourself, and take yourself home for a nice evening of self-indulgence and ego stroking?” she said, turning on her heel towards the exit. Sean briefly stopped talking as Amy gave her little speech, and then went on to spout off a mouthful of expletives in her general direction. He’d never been so insulted in his life; she obviously had no idea how talented or successful he was. It was her loss, or so he thought. Amy caught a cab home, spending money that she didn’t have, and went over the date in her head, from beginning to end. It had never stood a chance; Sean had started the date talking about himself, and he had never looked back. Amy couldn’t understand why she had such bad luck with men. The ones that sounded good on paper were never as good as they sounded, and the unemployed ones that were so sweet and loving, but never got out of their jobless slump, always seemed to catch Amy’s roving eye. Amy got home and rang up her best friend Mandy. She always gave sound advice, even if it was from Seattle, where Amy had called home up until three years ago. Now she was further down the coast in California, and she missed her BFF like crazy. “I just wish I could be better at picking a man, what’s wrong with me? I think I’m pretty good looking; if I do say so myself, and they seem to think so too, but it just never seems to work out. Why is it so hard to have everything you want?” Amy whined into the phone. Sighing into the multi-line phone at her desk, Mandy tried her best to commiserate with her lifelong buddy. She’d been hearing the same old story from Amy since 8th grade, nothing much had changed and here they were 32 year old women with careers and mortgages! Well, Mandy had a mortgage anyway. “Sorry honey, but I can’t feel too sorry for you. With that killer body and gorgeous face you’ve got it made. So what if you don’t have a man in your life? At least you’ve got two beautiful kids. You’re the lucky one...I may be successful in business and happily married to an awesome guy, but the kid thing is just not working out for me,” Mandy said softly. It had been two years now of trying, and the pressure was on from both sides of the family to get a grandchild out, and fast! Mandy and her husband Rick had already been ready to start a family a year after they’d married in Hawaii, but it just wasn’t going their way. They’d already been to two fertility clinics in Seattle, but so far the results were not looking good. Apparently Ricks’ sperm was fine; it was just her battered ovaries that didn’t look so great. The truth was, Mandy had always had problems with her periods, but now it turns out that she only ovulated once in a while, and she could never predict when that would be At least the fertility clinic had made it clear what was wrong. No more wondering if it was Rick’s problem, or hers. “Oh man, do I feel like an ass,” Amy said. “Here I am going on about my problems while you’re over there thinking about making babies. I wish I was there to lend you moral support in person. Hey-Brian is coming down to visit the kids next week, so maybe I’ll run up to Bellevue to visit you. They don’t need me when he’s here; it’s going to be like Disneyland every day,” Amy said. In fact, they probably would go to Disneyland at least once while her ex was here. Brian always made his visits like a vacation for the kids, even though they lived in California and had been to the sights a million times by now. After moving to L.A. three years previously, Amy and her kids had done lots of exploring and sightseeing together right away. It was a great way to bond as a new family of three while also getting acquainted with their new surroundings. What a thrill to be so close to the greatest amusement parks like Universal Studios and Disneyland. Mandy instantly perked up, the miles between the best friends couldn’t be felt through the phone line; it was like they were right there next to each other, chatting in person. “Do you think you really could come up? What about the fitness studio? I mean, that would be so terrific if you could,” she babbled excitedly. “Rick is away next week on business too, so we would be alone and have plenty of time to chit chat. We could even go old school and have a “slumber party” with pedicures and ice cream floats. What do you think?” Mandy asked eagerly. “Hah! You stay clear of my toes missy!” Amy laughed. “The last time I let you loose with a bottle of Russian Red you mutilated my nails. How about we go out to a day spa and let the experts go to town on our toes? I’ll take you up on the floats though—I’ve got dibs on root beer!” Even though Amy didn’t have much cash these days, she still enjoyed pampering herself. Her credit card statements would agree. Mandy settled on the root beer assignment as she only drank decaf cola. “Just make sure that we’re going to have a movie night too, I’ve been dying to rent some classics like Ghost or something. Remember Patrick Swayze in that one? What a hunk!” Mandy said. Amy looked at her watch. They’d already been gabbing for 10 minutes and she had a client any second now. “I’ll call you later tonight, Mandy. I’ve got Super Bitch coming in any second now and she’s a total cow when she sees me wasting any time during her precious hour. I’ll talk to you later.” Mandy agreed, ”Okay, I’ve got to get back to this proposal anyway. I was supposed to have finished it an hour ago and have it Fed-Exed tonight. I’ll be here for a while yet.” “Ta ta, my dear,” Amy said, being her silly self. Just then she glanced up to see her nemesis walking through the door. “Ta ta to you too,” Mandy said as she hung up. They had been using silly terms like that since high school, and they still used it to say goodbye. People thought she was being serious sometimes, and that always gave her a good laugh. “Hello Amy dear, I see you’re keeping busy. Are you ready for my session today?” Judith Peters sneered at Amy as she hung up her oversized Louis Vuitton tote on the wobbly hook partially affixed to the gym’s shabby wood paneled wall. Her platinum hair shone brilliantly in the light and her expensive makeup was impeccable. At forty five years old, there was not a trace of a line or wrinkle on her face or neck. Her exterior screamed “Midlife rich lady” and her eyes gleamed with superiority. “So Amy, what are we doing today? I really need to work hard this afternoon-I had half a croissant with lunch earlier, so I definitely need to burn that off. I also had a Perrier; do you know how many calories are in that?” she asked, raising her perfectly plucked eyebrows. She always threw Amy a curveball during the session to see how knowledgeable her trainer really was. “I’ll get back to you on the calories, but I don’t think you need to worry about sparkling water,” Amy smiled, trying to appear genuine. She always tried to be herself with her clients, but Judith was so off-putting that Amy always felt like a fake around her. She could already feel her cheeks starting to redden, and her heart beat a little faster. This woman just made her feel so uncomfortable, even in her own gym. Judith continued without pausing, “I’m throwing a cocktail party tomorrow night too, so I can’t have any extra baggage bulging out of my dress.” Amy tried to look her most pleasant and put on a ‘client’ smile. “Oh c’mon, you know you look fantastic,” Amy said sweetly, trying to butter her up. “But of course I have planned for an intense workout today; some cardio sprints on the treadmill for around half an hour followed by some mat Pilates. Will that suffice?” Amy asked her and turned her head to cough lightly into her opposite bent arm. Judith frowned at Amy and squinted at her through deep, black eyes. Her glistening halo of hair gleamed in the brilliant lighting of the studio, and her wedding diamonds nearly blinded Amy as she looked in Judith’s direction. “Are you sick?” she barked crossly at Amy. “If you’re sick, there is no way I’m training with you today, let alone staying in this godforsaken place. My daughter is flying out tomorrow to Toronto for the film festival, and she can’t afford to get sick. If you’re not a hundred percent and you’re not telling me, I will be pissed. So, are you sick or what? What’s wrong with you?” Amy looked up at Judith with subtle glints of hatred in her eyes. She quickly tried to shake it off and be a professional—Judith was a regular and had been coming to this studio for years. She had been here before Amy had bought the space out from the previous owner, and she brought in a lot of dough and referrals. Amy always wondered why Judith continued to come in since she was always complaining about everything. The dust on the equipment, the stains on the carpet, the toiletries in the bathroom; nothing was up to Judith’s standards and she let Amy and her staff know it every time she came in. “No Judith, I’m not sick. I had a tickle in my throat and now it’s gone. Thanks for your concern though, it’s really touching,” Amy said to her, with a touch of sarcasm in her voice. Judith harrumphed and marched over to the aging treadmill that was closest to the mirror. She loved to look at herself as she ran. The boob job that she’d gotten the year before was really flattering on her aging body, and she loved to see how her chest moved up and down as she ran. Anyone looking at her on the street would never know that she’d been pregnant four times and had teenaged children. “So, hop on the treadmill and we’ll get you warmed up. You don’t need me to stay with you while you do that, do you?” Amy asked. Judith grabbed the remote and turned on the flat screen TV in front of her. “I’ll be fine as long as your cable is on now. Last time I missed Bea on the news and she didn’t record it.” Amy sighed. Judith had come in last week when the cable had been turned off. Due to the amount of bills she had, Amy didn’t always pay them all on time. The first to get cut off had been the cable. Unfortunately, the day before it got reactivated, Judith had come in demanding to watch a news channel with a feature on her bosom buddy, Beatrice Cromwell. The philanthropist was throwing a charity dinner for children affected by the war in Sudan, and the local news was covering it on their lunch time program. “I’m sorry about that Judith,” Amy retorted. She wasn’t really, but it was Judith’s last check that helped put the cable back on so maybe she should have been. “It’s all up and running now—there must have been a loose wire or something,” Amy told her. Judith harrumphed loudly again to reiterate her feelings of undeniable authority as a wealthy person, and began to warm up on the treadmill. Her tight ass sashayed in her overpriced work out pants as she started to ascend the levels on the treadmill. Amy stepped back and went over to her battered desk. She checked the archaic computer for her next clients, and then saw her list of bills beckoning her from the pile on her desk. Judith was engrossed in a local stations’ story on a boy being adopted from China into a house of transient violin players, when Amy saw the bill on top of the pile with the world “urgent” stamped on it. She grabbed it and eyed it carefully. The bill was from her kids’ school and it was not a pleasant read. Basically, it told her that their tuition was due two weeks ago, and if it was not paid in full by September 15th, that their contract would be null and void and they’d have to slum it out in the public school system. How could she have missed this? In the pile of bills that seemed to grow exponentially every month, Amy must have just shoved this one in with the rest and forgotten about it. Even though Amy was not financially flush, she felt that it was very important for her kids to go to private school and get a top-notch education. She wanted the best for them, especially since they were from a broken home. She’d made it clear to Brian that she needed support payments which included enough for clothing, food and school, but lately he’d been sending less than she needed, even though he was apparently coming into more money than usual. She’d been trying to foot the bills herself, but they were really adding up. Apparently, Brian was working on some deals which would see him earning enough to send them all on a vacation, but until then, Amy was on her own. Now what was she supposed to do? Amy sighed loudly as she looked at the bill. Judith looked over her shoulder and squinted at Amy. “Problems? Did you forget to pay your electric bill too?” Judith coldly asked. “Oh, nothing to worry about, Judith. Now let’s get you going on those intervals.” Amy got up from the desk and made her way over to the treadmill. She enjoyed having the power for the duration of the hour, and would put Judith through her paces like a prize horse. Get the rest of the book for $4.99
Bel Air Bodies is now available on Kindle! This is my first novel and it's ready for you to read today! Click here to go directly to the link on Amazon.com